ASHINGTON. Sep. 15 . Associated Press -- The new Republican President of the United States announced, today, a major step in his administration's program to reduce the size of the Federal government and lessen its intrusion into the free play of market forces, by privatizing government agencies. In a 2PM press conference, the President revealed that the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has been sold, for an undisclosed sum, to a consortium of Japanese businessmen. The President then introduced a spokesperson for the former U.S. space program's new owners.
The spokesperson said he represented major Japanese publishers of "manga" (also: "anime"), which, he explained, are comic books read mostly by adult audience. He then displayed a photograph of the Space Shuttle Columbia, landing at newly renamed Haneda Spaceport (Cape Canaveral, FL), with a payload of 50,000 pounds of what he described as: "space express delivered" mangas for sale in the North American market.
The spokesperson said that his group's purchase of the U.S. space agency was part of Japanese publishers' commitment to bring the pleasures of manga reading to the non-Japanese speaking world. He said initial market focus will be subway and rail commuters, who, in Japan are called: "salarymen", whose long commutes have for many years been made more enjoyable by reading manga (he said market studies had shown that reading manga makes commuting time "fly").
The spokesperson read a message from the consortium, which he said he hoped would lay to rest fears former NASA employees might have about job security under the new ownership. The spokesperson showed a detail picture of the Space Shuttle, and pointed to the old NASA logo at the right side, which he compared to the spacecraft's new MANGA logo [above], and he said that, even in such a small detail, the consortium, who are honored to be new owners of the world's premier astronautic organization, have endeavored and will continue in future to change existing programs as little as possible.
The spokesperson ended his remarks by apologizing that the poor quality of the worn lettering of the NASA logo, which was from an old NASA press photograph, was hard to read. He said the space shuttles were being all refurbished to optimum condition, and also in future newest Japanese cameras would be used to provide the public and the press with highest quality images. He explained that contracting this work to such companies as Honda USA and Toyota USA would bring many new jobs to the American economy. He concluded by thanking the President and the American people for enabling Japan's manga publishers to acquire what he described as: "this national treasure"; then he bowed to "The Honorable President of your great country", and to the press and the American people.
equel: June 2002. In recognition of "The Honorable President of our great country" having brought the blessings of privatization to the Heavens, Pope John Paul II canonized him -- the first time The Roman Catholic Church had elevated a still-living person to sainthood. The Pope explained the compelling urgency in this case: To bestow upon him as prematurely, before he should become dead, the privileges of the next world, as he prematurely bestowed this-worldly rights upon those who were not yet born: "As he has done for the least of these, my brethren, bestowing human rights on ones not yet living, so The Holy Church has done for him, bestowing heavenly beatitude upon one not yet dead." --And, at that moment, the assembled throng of news reporters fell to their knees, in awe, as they witnessed the miracle of The President's head becoming triune, crowned by haloes enamating from the service hats of a chorus of Russian soldiers singing hosannahs celebrating their deliverance from atheist Communism (even though their free market government could no longer pay them).
Click here to see miraculous picture one reporter found when he developed the roll of film in his camera, even though, out of respect for the solemnity of the holiness of the blessed event, he had not taken any pictures. The Pope explained this miraculous photograph was an intervention in our world of The Invisible Hand [that's the new name for the Godhead...] having pressed the shutter. Even today, in the 31st century, persons displaced from their jobs by the [no longer so...] new global economy make pilgrimages to this image of St. George of the Bush, in the hope it will bring them job offers.
Click here to see another ikon of St. George, in the Greek Orthodox style, with gold leaf background.
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