Brett's tips

Over the years of car ownership, I've learned what works and what doesn't. Many if not all of the tips and product recommendations concern Audi vehicles, specifically type 44s(5000, 100, 200.) Some tips are oriented towards unique features in the 200q20v. It is geared towards the auto enthusiast; maybe next weekend is the big club fall foliage drive, or swap meet etc and you want the wheels looking extra nice. It is not intended for owners of rare/exotic/super-expensive cars. That's probably the territory of a detailer you've established a good relationship with and trust.

Since it is so common these days to find reviews written by people with interest in the product(s) they're reviewing(I love it when "Griot" tells you about how WONDERFUL all "his" stuff is), and even dead people can have opinions(Microsoft recently forged letters to USAG's using dead people's names), well...I don't have any interest in any item mentioned here.

One final note. Except where I have specifically indicated I liked one product over another I also tried, this list should almost be considered more of a "yep, this stuff works well" list rather than a "this is THE stuff to get!" list; do not go shopping with this list! Please keep this in mind. You will find people who say "I use (insert wax, car wash, etc here) and it's THE BEST!" all the time. Ask them what else they've used, and 90% of the time you will find that either a)this magical item obtained is in a different price range and thus, no big surprise, better than, say, the 4-5 parts-store-shelf items they had tried before. Make a mental note that its another item to try, but not one to run out and get if you have something of the same caliber... or b)they have never tried much else, and they're running off at the mouth. Some of the best product reviews and opinions you can get come from people who are somewhat reserved(ie, "yes, I've used (X) and it worked nicely" versus "I used (X), its clearly the best.") Ask how it compared to other products they've used.

The list is split up by the task(wash/dry, exterior paintwork, interior, engine compartment, etc.) I may have thrown in a seperate tips section in addition to products with their related tips/comments.

• Wash&Dry

  For washing+drying, the key is to do as little

  • P21S Paintwork Cleansing wash, or similar. Under $10. Mix 3 capfuls to the line inside for a decent amount of suds. Up to the top if you're feeling generous. Probably works just as well as any other; Meguiars and Mother's Gold are other brands I've used. Mother's is particularly generous with a large bottle. I would avoid "wash+wax" stuff, as well as the dry pelletized "just add water" stuff, but hey, if you want, give it a shot. I really doubt the exotic stuff like Sonax and Zymol are worth it, don't bother. Long as it gets the dirt off, washes don't need to do much more than that.
  • Boar's Hair Brush. Yep, they're expensive...$60-ish and up. However, what I've learned is that half of car cleaning and making it look nice is not screwing it up in the first place, and sponges, cloths, etc all hold dirt in 'em and rub the dirt against the paint. This one's a clear winner. Now, for the bad news. Griot's version is incredibly difficult to hold, and with a plastic handle, I always felt I had to really grip it. By the time I was done, my hand was -killing- me and I had to break for about an hour before it felt better. Booo. For $70, I expect something far better. One side note...I don't think the brush will do a great job on really bad cleaning jobs. Hard stuff that's stuck on, etc because you've been bad about waxing/washing. I would still use the brush first to get all loose grit off, then come back with a sponge and do specific areas.
  • California Water Blade. I believe it costs around, or under, $20. Its looks like something you's never let near your car, along the same lines as the brush up above. Wrong. It works -great-. Takes about 2-3 washes to get the hang of it, and after about 5-6, you'll be doing the little tricks they describe in the booklet, like pressing the blade into ridges, etc. You'll also learn very quickly what order to flick water off which surfaces in which direction. Occasionally wipe both edges with the towel or something to make sure it's clean(never noticed anything on the blade, but safe=not sorry.)
  • Chamios. Nothin' fancy, don't need those funky exotic ones etc. A small towel will do just fine too(keep it 100% cotton, and the less lint, the better; clip the tag off if you like; mark it with a "D" for dry in one corner w/laundry marker, it helps, trust me.) This is for wiping drips+drops and getting into areas you can't get into with the blade. Carry both as you dry the car and you'll be done in no time. If you find a dirty spot, STOP, swish with the brush, rinse, and THEN dry.
  • Promise you won't laugh? An electric leaf blower(if you already have one.) Hey, stop it, I told you not to laugh. Ok, what's the deal? Alright, well, one of the most annoying parts of drying to polish, glaze, and wax a freshly washed car is that water just seems to come out of trim pieces etc like they're sponges, and Murphy's Law is that they will only release when approached by a cloth with polish/glaze/wax on it :-) This is mostly for the older Audi crowd; we've got trim pieces out to wazoo(the newer cars have far fewer trim pieces.) After drying the car, use the blower to blast away water from all the trim pieces, mouldings, mirrors, trunklid badges, even the recessed door handles on 100/200s will hold water. Work your way around, and try different angles, sometimes the wierdest angle will result in a gush of water that comes out of nowhere. Keep the towel tucked in the back pocket or slung over your shoulder to wipe up drips. After about 2-3 minutes you should have one completely dry car. Note I said "electric". Lighter, easier to handle, and there's no risk of getting anything on the car like gas/oil residue. Note that even with an electric, if you've got really nice paintwork, yeah, there's probably the possibility that some little bug or something might get sucked in and blasted at your car's paintwork so it's not recommended for folks with really nice cars(plus no self-repecting nice-car owner would use a leafblower, right? :-)
  • P21S total auto wash. Under $10. This stuff is a paint-friendly, strong cleaner/degreaser. I use it in combination with my trimmed boars hair paintbrush(small size, maybe half inch width) to clean around+under trim, rubber strips(like the front hood strip)...and in particular, the areas of the paint that never get washed, like the B-pillar. The inside top edge of the fenders in the engine compartment(the ones with the bolts that are painted over, etc). The inside painted surfaces on the doors themselves(back flat areas etc.) It is also very suitable for engine compartment cleaning and chassis cleaning. I mix it around half+half, that seems to work nicely.

• Exterior Surfaces detailing(polish, glaze, wax)

  This is the real meat+potatoes. There are a dizzying array of polishing compounds, cleaners, glazes, and waxes. You need to clean+smooth the paintwork without abrasive action, possibly get rid of any swirls(this might need to be slightly abrasive, so be careful; if you're washing the car etc properly, this won't need to be done often or at all, hence the brush etc up above), glaze the paint to give a really nice gloss, then wax for protection. That's it. I've tried to list things in the order they would be used.

  • A random orbital buffer. You will NOT regret it. Small is beautiful; the 5 and 6" pads are just right for getting into all sorts of curved places. I bought a porter-cable unit(yes, the same as the one on Griots catalog, no, not from Griots, and no, I did not pay $200), and I've loved it. The polishing action with paintwork cleaner is very even and you can do an entire panel in just under 30 seconds or so. Note- clean the pad often(every few panels.) A second pad would be a good investment if you want to work as quickly as possible. I purchased mine from Coastal Tools for about $130 -including shipping-, they also included a 6" hook+loop sanding pad and the necessary counterweights for both 5" and 6" sanding/buffing attachments. Note- always stop and start the buffer while still against the car. Sounds crazy, isn't. Use the slowest speed. Lastly, don't run the buffer off the car. Many folks recommend you not use the same pad for different purposes- mark one pad for polishing, another for glazing, etc. This is mostly important if you use an aggressive or rough compound with the pad- washing it won't get everything completely out of it and might cause scratching.
  • Mother's 1-2-3 system. Used it, liked it, but I moved up and away from it. Commonly available, fairly inexpensive, and each step is easy to use/apply. Try to do as little with the stage 1 as possible, since it's abrasive, and hence not appropriate for nice paintjobs. Step 3, the wax, is a liquid wax, which some people thumb their nose at, and they're quite possibly right. I was pretty impressed with the glaze(step 2) if I remember correctly, at least for hiding swirls. It has been a while since I used it, however.
  • Pinnacle Paintwork Cleaner. I took a gamble on this and decided to give it a shot. It claimed to be mostly natural stuff, which is always nice, and non-abrasive, even better. Sure enough, the stuff works quite nicely to remove just about anything that's on the paint and shouldn't be, and leaves a great, smooth surface that's hard to argue with. Feel the surface when you've done an area; if it feels rough, you haven't done enough work. If it feels smooth but with little teeny bumps here and there, then you need a foam pad that isn't quite as soft. I don't recommend cloth with PPC, I used to do it all the time and it was a TON of work and often I had super-fine hazy lines going in the direction of my rubbing. Switched to foam and haven't looked back; it is much easier, and it seems that I use less stuff as well. Pinnacle Paintwork Cleaner also works very nicely with a random-orbital buffer.
  • One Grand Omega Glaze. The jury is out on this one. Lots of folks swear by it, but to be honest, after I've done the car with the paintwork cleaner, it seems ready to wax right then and there. Spread it thin with a sponge and have plenty of available towel to remove and then buff. If you see, to your horror, little itty teeny bitty lines running all in the same direction that look like you just scratched the paint, switch to a fresh surface or just keep buffing, it'll go away.
  • P21S Concourse Wax. Not the most durable you can get, but looks fantastic. More expensive than most(I believe it's around $20) but significantly cheaper than the zymol waxes (I've always said that I suspect the extra $$$ buys keyboards with umlats and other odd euro-sounding characters for their marketing department.) You'll get many waxings out of that $20. The built in applicator pad works well enough that I haven't bothered trying anything else to apply the wax with. Very soft and easy to apply, buffs off cleanly+quickly, and I've never noticed much "wax dust", true to the label's claim. I've been pleased with the shine and it seems durable enough. It is nice/expensive enough stuff that I would not store it out in the garage in freezing weather nor trunk on hot days, but rather inside. Replace the little sheet over the surface of the wax, then applicator, then booklet, then lid, and yes, I do find the lid rather tricky to get on :-) Supposedly buffing it off while still somewhat wet results in the best results.
  • One Grand Blitz Wax. This is well under $10, and rumored to be the most durable of the various waxes around. Ie, good for wheels(you DO wax your wheels, right?) I haven't picked up any to try out myself, but it seems to be one of those universally well-liked products.
  • Microfiber cloth. Viper is a company that makes some of the more plush microfiber cloths around(and they charge a pretty penny for them), but much "wimpier" versions that still work fairly well can be had at walmart(ugh.) They will do a wonderful job of picking up dust and the plush ones work VERY nicely at removing paintwork cleaner, wax, etc...in fact, one small cloth can do as much or more than a full-size cotton towel. Whatever you do, don't drop one of the plush cloths on the ground. You'll -never- get the little bits of leaves and stuff off...ugh. Do not wash these cloths with any other fabrics, and do not use fabric softener.

• Interior

  • Remember the microfiber cloths? Get one slighly damp, and wipe down every hard surface in sight that isn't covered in something sticky(like a small soda spill, push folds of it between buttons, push it up against cracks and swish it around in bins etc; they're great at sucking up the dust and not letting go. Do this before using any cleaners or dressings.
  • Lexol Vynilex. I like Lexol's products and this is no exception. It's not very glossy at all(which is what most people, particularly concours judges, prefer), doesn't smell like suntan lotion(in fact, has very little smell compared even to things like armor all) and contains a lot of UV screen. I particularly like that it washes off my hands instantly(and I can easily remove it from something it doesn't belong on.) The jury is still out on this stuff long-term, as I've only recently aquired+started using it. BTW, it also seems to do a very nice job of cleaning the surface you're wiping down. Be careful on surfaces which Back To Black has been applied to, it seems to do a nice job of cleaning the B2B right off :-)
  • Lexol Leather cleaner and conditioner. I've always liked this, a real quality product that many others like as well. It pulled grime off the steering wheel from the previous owner, does a great job on seating surfaces too. I use a barely damp cloth and spray the cleaner directly onto the surface, and lather up...along with my trusty half-inch boars hair brush to get into cracks/stitching to clean them out(particularly all the leather treatment that has built up between the cracks from the previous owners.) A big soft bristle brush, like one you might find for baths, can do a great job too, but either that or a nice terry cotton cloth should work fine; don't be afraid to really lather things up, rub/brush a lot, etc....save if you have that super-soft leather(Audi leather is quite thick/tough/stiff, and hence really durable; Volvo, and BMW leather, from what I've seen, isn't any of those qualities.) I then use a very-wrung-out towel to wipe up most of the cleaner, rinsed in a bucket of warm water occasionally(maybe once or twice per seating position; not -too- much, you want to leave a teeeny bit of the cleaner behind)...then I quickly dry it with a large towel. After a while, the leather has dried and is ready for the conditioner. I usually spray a fine mist on, but this got to be a pain as the mist was so fine it often ended up all over the place. Wipe all over so you get a very even spread, and let it sit for a few minutes, then buff with a large clean cloth. Do NOT skip on this, or you'll have seats that are super sticky. Your seats may be somewaht sticky anyway, immediately after conditioning them. It will pass within a day, so if you're looking to impress the boss/significant other/friend, do this at least a day before :-) The leather smell will have died down a little bit as well, to more of a "nice hint" level. Pay particular attention to the headrests and seat tops, these get a lot of sun and dry out quickly! These surfaces may soak up an application of conditioner completely, they get so dried out; if need be, repeat an application of conditioner Sidenote: with these in mind, I picked up a very small bottle of lexol-nf, which purports to be good at really getting into dried out leather and restoring it. Will provide more info when I've tried it.
  • AutoGlym Glass Polish. Comes in a fancy looking bottle with those fancy looking British stamps and costs about $5-6. If you don't mind a bottle that is 3x larger, costs $2 less, and doesn't have the fancy stamps, you can buy Glass Wax at most small hardware stores. The good part? It is a teensy bit of a polish, so it really does a number on just about anything that might be on the glass as far as film/haze, waterspots...it will NOT get rid of acid rain type damage, scratches, etc...not by a mile. It does a great job on my headlights, with the cloth coming away dirty even after I'd washed the car+windexed the headlights. Use the smallest dab on a cloth, and try to keep the patch of cloth that you work with very small(to not end up with the stuff in the cloth.) Rub has hard as you want for a few seconds; work quickly, it does dry very fast. Wait a few seconds, then buff off the chalky-like stuff with a clean part of the towel. Have a microfiber cloth handy to wipe up any of the chalky dust that isn't caught by your towel. You should be left with next to invisible glass, and water should bead/roll off almost like there's rainx on it, because the surface is so smooth.

Parts

Here are some tips specific to certain areas/pieces/surface types.

• Climate control vents. These guys get really nasty, as does the plenum behind them. First, you need to remove them. On the later type 44's, push the vent down all the way; grip the top of the vent with your fingers, and carefully pull down. You can also try pulling up. Some may take more force than others; it's pretty hard to break these guys. Note some may require angling and fidgeting to get out(the center cluster, leftmost vent, was the most troublesome for me.) Once they're out, dump 'em in a bucket and blast the hose in there to get off loose dirt/etc. Transfer to a sink. In HOT water, add some simple green or P21S Total Auto Wash, and let 'em soak for 30 min or so; using that boar's hair paintbrush, give each a good swish, drain, rinse, blot them with a towel and set somewhere to dry. Yikes, they're all white! Don't worry, that'll go away in a sec :-) Grab a box of qtips and the vynilex. Yup, get in there and do each fin, and the top+bottom of each solid divider. Do the "outside" of each vent too. You'll probably be ready to scream by the third one, so wander off and come back to 'em later. FYI, they should appear slightly wet, no more. In a few hours, they'll dry up quite a bit and have a nice, semi-gloss, new-plastic look. Tada! Before you pop them back in, grab a towel, spray a fine mist of vynilex on it, and wipe down the inside of the plenum and air vent frame. Now pop those guys in. Wow, looks great, eh?
• Plastic chrome trim. Try to touch the plastic chrome trim as little as possible; it scratches quite easily. You can, once or twice, get away with a VERY gentle and quick rub down with a VERY gentle paintwork cleanser, but for the most part, just keep it clean(100% cotton rag and windex or plexus, NOT the glass polish!) and wax it any time water doesn't bead when you're washing the car(just like the paint.) When clean+waxed, it'll look great.
• Metal chrome trim(exterior.) If it's looking quite sad, check out 3M's marine metal polish+restorer. It's a VERY aggressive restorer. When they say "restore", they mean it. A little bit goes a VERY long way, and you should mask off with a low-tack(LOW TACK!) tape any surrounding paintwork, glass, or rubber strips. I was in the habit of giving the jar a good shakeup to mix everything all up every 20 min or so. Remember that it should be waxed after polishing(but make sure all restorer/polish is removed with a wipedown; I would suggest polishing the metal before doing a carwash.) If you want it to look really spiffy, do an intermediate polish/shine with something less agressive than the 3M stuff.
• Metal chrome trim(interior.) 100/200's have a chrome strip right next to the window on the inside. Keep it clean+waxed if it hasn't displayed spidering marks yet; if it has, use the 3M polish to take off the spider pattern super quick(the 3M stuff was the first stuff I found that could do this; I tried several other polishes.)
• Tops of seats: use Vynilex on the plastic donuts. If the leather is very dry, clean with the lexol leather cleaner, then consider try Lexol-nf to add back moisture and flexibility; follow up later with the conditioner. Optionally, just give it a good coat of conditioner, almost over-apply the stuff. My headrests sucked up the conditioner like no tomorrow, they were really dry. Same with the tops of the seats, particularly the side closest to the windows.
• Door "velvet" gaskets. This trim attracts fuzz, threads, you name it, like a magnet. At the supermarket, you can get refils for those sticky-tape rollers, and they work quite nicely. A cheaper solution is a big fat roll of masking tape from your friendly local, family-owned hardware store(not Home Depot, please :-) To avoid lifting the gasket fuzz itself, don't rub it; You can hold a foot long trip at either end and press different parts of the tape against the gasket+pull away; the lint should come right off.