American Lie
Sung to "American Pie"


A long, long time ago
People still remember how I snuck out to avoid the war
But I knew if I had my way
That I'd be President one day
And maybe they would bother me no more
Republicans they made me shivver
With filibusters they'd deliver
Gridlock in the White House
She wears the pants in my house
I guess I told a big, fat lie
When I said that I'd be on your side
Don't go choking up inside
'Cause hey, you knew I'd lie

So why, why are you shocked that I'd lie
Spent an hour with a Flower but I wouldn't say why
And now my wife has got her hand in the pie, but I
Guess you should have known that I'd lie
Guess you should have known that I'd lie

Did you think you'd get away
With a small tax cut, well let me say
That's not how it's gonna be
And did you believe that I'd be true
Well baby, that's a shame on you, and
Now we'll see what kinda harm I'll do
Well I know I said I'd do my best, but you
Knew I'd lie like all the rest
By now you ought to know
You should have voted for Ross Perot
And now it's time for me to tax your buck
It'll hit you all just like a pick-up truck
I hope you know you're out of luck
But hey, you knew I'd lie

We were singin'
Why are you shocked that I'd lie
Spent an hour with a Flower but I wouldn't say why
And now my wife has got her hand in the pie, but I
Guess you should have known that I'd lie
Guess you should have known that I'd lie

Now for 12 years it's been hell you say
But just wait, wait'll I get my way, 'cause
My goal is to tax and spend
First I'll tax the booze, then the gasoline
You'll be taxed until your wallet's clean
And I'll say, it'll be fine in the end
Oh, and while the Compound's burning down
My top advisors can't be found
I guess I'm outta luck
I'll have to pass the buck
And while the Serbs ignore the threats I send
The Press Corps ask me to defend
My policies which will offend
But hey, you knew I'd lie

And then Congress was in their place
Determination on their face
With no time left to compromise
So come on, Bob be prudent, Bob be true
Bob Dole, please let my bill go through, 'cause
No one likes a President who lies
And as the opposition grew
My days as President were through
No way that it would be
The Congress saw through me
Yet as the vote ran into the night
I knew that my victory was sleight, so I
Started laughing with delight
'Cause hey, you knew I'd lie

We were singin'
Why are you shocked that I'd lie
Spent an hour with a Flower but I wouldn't say why
And now my wife has got her hand in the pie, but I
Guess you should have known that I'd lie
Guess you should have known that I'd lie

I met a girl who I called Jen
She thought she was my special friend
But she was used and thrown away
I went down to the Viet wall
Where I read the names of those who'd fall
But the vet's there turned their backs and looked away
While in the wings my wife, she schemes
The Congress lies and the critic's scream
My promises were broken
Rush Limbaugh wasn't joking
And the three whom I believed were good
From Lani, Zoe, even Kimba Wood
They took the fall like fall guys should
But hey, you knew I'd lie

We were singin'
Why are you shocked that I'd lie
Spent an hour with a Flower but I wouldn't say why
And now my wife has got her hand in the pie, but I
Guess you should have known that I'd lie
Guess you should have known that I'd lie

We were singin'
Why are you shocked that I'd lie
Spent an hour with a Flower but I wouldn't say why
And now my wife has got her hand in the pie, but I
Guess you should have known that I'd lie
Guess you should have known that I'd lie


Copyright © 1994 by C.Hammett